Check and Balance

Some of the day care children are resting. Some, are not. But they are all resting quietly so I whisper a quiet thank you to the day care angels. I love each of my kids dearly, but there are days when nap time is my favorite time. Call me crazy.

Fred: "Mooooom" (Big sigh) "There's nothing to do!" He still manages, at 8 and a half, to get that lower lip out quite well. Too bad he is the second child and I am immune.

Me: "Why don't you and xxx go outside and work on your fort?"

Fred: "It's too hot and besides, you won't let us rebuild in the shittiest portion of the yard, where there are spiderwebs, bugs, mosquitoes and countless other  hazards."

Me: "Right, I momentarily forgot how cruel I can be. Well how about you play a board game?"

Fred and xxx sit down three feet from a sleeping child and start slapping each other for fun.
Me: "Boys, if you wake up the sleeping children I will have no choice but to duct tape Fred (I can, he's mine) to the wall and get out a sleep mat for xxx."

Instant, albeit momentary, silence. Fred knows I mean it because if I do one thing well it's mean what I say. xxx isn't sure yet, he's new to daycare.

Enter Bucket (formerly known as Ginger, didn't like it): "Mom, I know we just walked in the door 30 seconds ago because the friends I was going to meet never showed so you kindly, thoughtlessly came back and got me, but my friends have just told me that even though they said they'd be at the fire hall two hours ago and never showed they really are on the way in about 30 minutes so can you take me back?"

Me:"Uh, hmm. No"

Fred again: "Mom, what can we do????"

Me: "How about a movie? Play a card game? Make a craft? Build with Legos? Ok, how about I am going to pick for you in about 30 seconds"

Fred giving the death glare and xxx smiling because he thinks maybe I'm kidding.

Bucket again: "Mom, Phil is on his way, he'll give me a ride, you'll still come get me later right? Oh, and do you have gum?"

Me: "Okay, my choice for you is..." Envision two scurrying children...

I get it, I really was young once. How crappy is it that not until you're older, responsible for the life of others, do you actually wish you had the opportunity to be bored? To really truly have nothing to do? And no I'm not talking about when you choose to do nothing instead of what you should be doing. I mean really, truly, unequivocally, nothing. Yeah right. Even as I blog there are 4 other things I should be doing. Things that I will rant at myself for not doing later. Luckily for me I usually function better under pressure. The less time I have to get something done the easier. Give me a week and forget it. I think about it for 6 days.

Bucket: "Mom, by the way Lisa will be here at 6 to take me to Daddy's. How do we get to our house from Plank Road?"

Me: "Child, this is why we will not be rushing to get you a learner permit in January." Although I suppose I could send her (and take your brother) to the store "just yonder" for milk. Hmm, could be on to something here. I could get several hours to myself! Alright, why do I hear evil giggling coming from the tv room? "Guys, inside voices" 

xxx: "YOU MEAN LIKE WHISPERS?" 

Fred: "shhh she's gonna come back here!"

Silence...

It is 3:04 pm. The remaining 7 children are wide eyed and smiling. My day began 8 hours ago, only about 8 to go!

3 comments:

Nicki said...

Too funny. My daughter is getting her permit as soon as the SS card comes in the mail. We lost hers. I say get her driving asap and yes, have her take the boy! Although...Plank Rd? Wow. You need to give her a tour of the district! =)

JB said...

I know right? That's what I'm saying!

Nicki said...

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