Hmm, not sure how I feel about that. I enjoy a good journey, and certainly would like to hope that my life will be filled with novel worthy experiences. 

I cannot and will not complain about my life; I believe that each of us is where we are meant to be each moment of our lives. Divine? Perhaps. Consequences of our choices? Probably. Either way it's what my "gut" tells me. I'm not saying I enjoyed divorcing. Twice. But I wouldn't trade my babies for anything. I'm not saying I wish my dear friend had never committed suicide. But then I would never have gotten involved in emergency medicine. I guess what I'm saying is that I have definitely made choices I wish I hadn't or been witness to events I wish I could erase. But then, my life would not be what it is. I have no regrets. And, while my life is far from where I feel like it needs to be, I'm not finished yet.

When I started this blog thanks to my amazing Nicki I was thrilled at the prospect of having an outlet where I could brag, vent, laugh or cry my way through my days. Cool, like a diary or something, except public, where I could type exactly what's on my mind. I have trouble sometimes getting the words out, but when I'm in writing mode look out! I am the queen of ass-chewing constructive criticism. I can write a descriptive story that will knock your socks off. I can pour my heart all over the keyboard, literally. I guess what I'm saying is I'm pretty good at getting my point across on paper. In life, not so much, although as I get older mature I have gotten better at not giving a shit conveying my feelings without adding guilt to the list.

So where am I going with this? I started the blog in August. It's October and this is my like 4th entry. Wtf? Ironically, I've had so much going on that I either don't have time or don't want to use the tiny bit of time I have to blog. Let's see, since the last time I wrote I've started 2 new part time jobs in addition to the crazy full time one I already have. While at one of my new jobs I received an offer for another new part time job. (Yes, I do feel loved. It's nice to be wanted) I applied to, was accepted, received aid and registered for college. 

We'll start with how I ended up with 2 additional jobs and then explain how I decided to go back to school. I adore children. Most of the time. I enjoy watching them grow and thrive and become active participants in their lives. I like knowing that these kids are safe and healthy and thriving with me. The downside? I do not want to be changing diapers when my own kids are 30. I do not like living in a daycare. I want a house, with a living room. I want to not spend my weekends (theoretically my days off) preparing for my daycare. I would like the opportunity to not put the dishes away after dinner just because I don't feel like it. Not that I would do that, I'm way too OCD but you get the point. I do very much enjoy that my commute is 10 feet from my bedroom to the front room, and that the weather along the way is always a comfy 68 degrees. The downside is I never get out. 

One night after daycare was closed and while my own kids were occupied, I started google-ing classifieds. I don't "need" a job, which actually made browsing rather enjoyable. I came across a listing for Rochester General Hospital, in the emergency department, for a patient care technician. What? Can this be? A job where I will be paid to do almost exactly what I do as a volunteer? I filled out an on-line application. Nah, they wouldn't hire me, why would they? And besides, I'm sure I can't afford to work there and support 2 kids. I all but forgot about it and went on with my insane life. About a month later (yes dammit I know I need to blog more) I get this call from the nurse manager in the e.d at the hospital. Oh god are my kids ok? What? You're calling in regards to my application? Suitable candidate? Hell yes I'm still interested. I am a per diem tech and I LOVE it. I am getting exactly the exposure and experience that I was hoping for. The people there are all wonderful; helpful, friendly and truly compassionate. Wow! About 2 weeks after I started at the hospital I ran into an acquaintance from the ems side of the track. She approached and asked if I would consider taking a per diem position with a local ambulance company. Decent pay, benefits, bonuses and future opportunity for management. I have decided that at some point I must have walked into a parallel universe where, instead of treading in bad karma water I am basking in the warm sunlight of good ju-ju. I have interviewed for this position and hope to hear from them by the end of the week.

OK, so the college part. I am 35 not getting any younger. I have all kinds of certifications, licenses, credits.

Almost all of my education is in early childhood development and teaching. The other 25% or so is in emergency medicine.I have no damn degree because I cannot make up my mind what I want to be when I grow up. I realize that since my oldest child is almost grown up I should probably get my rear in gear. Being ever so logical I decide that even though most of my transferable training is in education it really is not my "rest of my life" goal. I do not, I repeat, want to be changing diapers when I am 50. I would not mind, however, a career say, with FEMA, or Homeland Security, or even a local agency. So, having half a clue I started looking into college. My dilemma is that I can't afford to not work while I go to school. And even then I don't know that I can afford it. I began researching distance (on-line) learning. Are there any that are truly recognized? Well rated? Affordable? Have what I'm looking for? Turns out there is, and it's called The American Military University. It was established originally so that active military personnel can continue their education. It is recognized and even recommended! Graduates enter straight into both government agencies as well as private, like Baush & Lomb, Harris and Lockheed Martin. :-) Yay me. They have a bachelor of science program in public health. I can concentrate in emergency management and disaster preparedness. Awesome. I applied and was accepted. I applied for grants and financial aid. Turns out a single mother of 2 can go back to school! Classes start November 1 and I am really excited. Like so excited that I wish I had started a couple years ago so I could blog that this is my last semester.

But alas, I did start this blog by saying I believe I am exactly where I am meant to be at this moment. I am in the midst of a hell of a journey. I am packed and ready. And hopefully will not have 2 months of life to catch up on next time I blog